Veganism is a relatively new social movement, one that isn’t understood by everyone with great clarity. A bride to be has faced the ultimate disaster because her family has refused to attend her big day. This is all because of her insistence on serving meatless vegan food during the event.
The argument was found on Mumsnet by a user who asked other users if it was normal for her to be annoyed at her daughter for insisting so hard on vegan food at her big day. According to the stubborn bride’s mother, the bride will refuse to step down from her decision.
Her mother says they decided to sent the catering details with each and every mailed invitation, just to warn people ahead of time and to prevent any clashes. In her opinion, her daughter has the right to serve any kind of food she wants to.
‘My daughter’s wedding is this summer, we’ve been planning it together for months and we have genuinely had a good time doing so. However, my daughter is a vegan, and she is adamant that the wedding also must be vegan. This is fine with me, I support her wish and this is for her to decide. We sent the invitations (and I thought it would be a good idea to include the information about vegan catering on the invitations) and we have had many RSVPs basically saying they will not be coming if the food is vegan. I have to say this was unexpected, many of the family are quite traditional, meat-and-two-veg, but I did not expect this to be such a problem.
The thing now is that many of the guests are refusing to come, and my daughter is not willing to budge. I personally don’t see the big deal in catering for everyone’s tastes, it was a bloody nightmare to book the vegan caterer. I’m really getting frustrated, yesterday my daughter said she was thinking of cancelling the whole thing and thinks the guests are being unreasonable. Maybe I should not have put this information on the invitations?’
‘People have cancelled because they’ll have a meal of vegetables? They are the problem, not your daughter. If they can’t make it through one meal in honour of someone’s wedding day, that’s quite sad really. Your daughter’s day, her choice. I’ve eaten so much dry chicken etc at weddings over the years – not what I’d choose but it’s the wedding party’s choice so everyone should go along with it, imo.’
‘Your guests are being unreasonable. They know what vegan ism is right? They’ve not mixed it up with something else? Who can’t go 1 afternoon without eating animal based products?
Why did you feel the need to put it on invites though? DoI omnivore who enjoys meat’
‘How rude of them. Your poor daughter. I think you did the right thing, imagine they came and ruined the day complaining.’
‘I am trying to be supportive, but I don’t really understand why my daughter can’t allow a menu choice to try and please everyone. The people who have refused told me (they spoke with me directly) that they are fed up having to make concessions for my daughter and provide vegan food at any parties or events (not that they have thrown many), and then not have their own tastes catered for when the roles are reversed.’
‘Sorry but if I was a guest I’d be dreading the meal, I’d come to be polite but the meal would put a slight dampener on the occasion.’
‘I’m going to get destroyed for saying this but it would put me off attending. I am very fussy when it comes to food, probably an unhealthy diet but I wouldn’t be able to eat a veg only meal. That’s my issue but then it would be my choice to attend or not.
Also weddings can last from 12 to midnight (or all the ones I have been to do), I wouldn’t be able to go a whole day without eating a proper meal that fills me up, that along with drinking would be a messy day.
I get what people are saying and people can think it’s pathetic for another adult to not put up with vegan menu for one day but I know I would struggle because my food options are limited (admittedly by myself).’
“It was the bride’s choice apparently”
Sounds like she was raw vegan – I don’t find raw vegan at all satisfying
I do prefer to cook my vegans first
I’d enjoy a vegan meal, indeed an alcohol-free vegan meal. I’d no more expect a vegan to compromise their principles than to demand a Muslim or Quaker host serve alcohol.
If it were more than one day’s meals, I would nip out for some cheese / eggs / dead fish / animals, though !
Dietary preferences are NOT comparable to ethical principles
Most people wouldn’t break principles they hold truly important, just to satisfy someone’s preferences.’
“Lots of vegans ate vegans for ethical issues and so would have conflict, feeding and paying for non vegan food.
Yabu, I can’t believe some family can’t eat vegan for a day.
I would never be vegetarian or vegan. But I can go a day without out and often do opt for what would be vegetarian or vegan.”
‘Most people provide a vegetarian option of required. Why can’t your daughter do the same? It may not the be the meal, but more having others principles forced on them that’s annoying guests.’
‘Hmm. Playing Devil’s Advocate here, but I suppose people who are maybe going to have to come a long way, and shell out quite a lot one way and another (if this is the case – being a wedding guest often does not come cheap) might feel that if they’re not even going to get a meal they would really enjoy out of it, they don’t feel like bothering.
I can’t help feeling that a bride who really cares about her guests enjoying their day, would want to provide the sort of food they would enjoy. She can have a vegan meal for herself and anyone else so inclined.
At her wedding last year my dd bent over backwards to make sure all her guests’ particular tastes were catered for, so that they could all enjoy their day to the full. But then she was very conscious that many of them were coming a long way and spending a fair bit, for her big day.’